Do you feel like your self-esteem is where it needs to be? There’s nothing wrong with dreaming the dream or longing for a world full of satisfying relationships. The real challenge is to look at your own truth first, and then to look at the truth of who and what stands before you, beyond the obvious, into the essence of what you are seeking, to see whether the search is, indeed, available to you. Any morality you cherish must truly express your most authentic core self. Hopefully your morality remains applicable and upheld under all circumstances, otherwise it’s merely what can be described as ‘relative’ ethics. If you value honesty, for instance, you cannot pick and choose when, where and with whom you are honest with and being honest can easily see you in conflict with those you love the most. Have you ever held onto a thought that contradicted what those closest to you agreed was reality and how did you reconcile the unexpected conflict?
|When these conflicts arise it’s common to feel righteous and ‘dig in’. Such an idiosyncratic belief is especially common in cases of satisfying relationships gone awry. Plenty of us entertain minor false imaginings that preserve and perpetuate stories we’ve created to shield us from the realities of what our morals would identify as the truth. Being morally sound can only happen over time and repetition and can help bring joy and stability through restoring order when the proverbial scales get tipped. Being right-sized in your own estimation requires self-confidence, contentment, and a tempered basis for constructive criticism.|
Living successfully by the dictates of our own internal compass is impossible to hold in isolation from those around us, we must stay connected to societal norms.
At different times in your life you may find major discrepancies between your internal idea of a moral life and the way you actually live. When treating others as you would be treated, we notice that we often fail to adhere to this principle in our satisfying relationships. Nowhere is moral shortcoming more prevalent than in the intersection between our espoused morality and the way we engage those we love the most. In truth, how we believe in is a microcosm of the way that we are in the world. We might ask ourselves, “Are we being selfish, considerate, or dismissive? Are we minimizing, compliant or controlling?” Satisfying relationships are the ultimate laboratory where we can actually try out new ways of relating to ourselves and those we value the most while being conscious and mindful of how we impact those around us. It takes great humility and courage to effectively love completely without complete understanding. Sometimes recovering our integrity in the present involves a moral inventory of past mistakes. How are you accountable today for the actions of your past? Whether moral, immoral, or amoral, can you see your part clearly in the major circumstances of your life?